The Rocky Horror Picture Show – guió interactiu en català

Foto: Bravium Teatre

El Rocky Horror Picture Show és una pel·lícula de culte de l’any 1975, que des d’aleshores es projecta en cinemes i teatres amb un guió de participació interactiu per tal que els fans puguin interactuar amb els seus personatges.

El Bravium Teatre de Reus facilita aquestes representacions dins el Cicle de Cinema de Terror que organitza la companyia Producciones Lucky & Luke.

M’he pres la llibertat d’adaptar els guions interactius que es realitzen a Denver i a Memphis, al català i amb referències a la nostra actualitat política i social.

Gaudiu-lo!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show – guió interactiu en català

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩ – “Science Fiction / Double Feature”  

LLAVIS SI US PLAU!

GRÀCIES

Michael Rennie was ill, the day the Earth stood still, 

but he told us where we stand.

And Flash Gordon was there, in silver underwear. 

Claude Rains was the invisible man. 

Then something went wrong, for Faye Wray and King Kong, 

they got caught in a celluloid jam. 

Then at a deadly pace, it came from 

ON?

outer space. 

GRÀCIES

And this is how the message ran… 

CONGELA ELS LLAVIS!

Science fiction – double feature, 

Doctor X 

SEX, SEX, SEX! 

will build a creature. 

See androids fighting 

I FOLLANT I LLEPANT A 

Brad and Janet. 

Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet. 

Oh, oh, oh, oh… at the late night, double feature, 

ROCKY HORROR picture show. 

I knew Leo G. Carrol, 

was over a barrel, when tarantula took to the hills. 

TENS SEMEN ALS LLAVIS! 

And I really got hot, when I saw Jeanette Scott, 

fight a Triffid that spits poison and kills. 

QUÈ COLLONS ÉS UN TRIFFID? 

Dana Andrews said prunes, gave him the runes 

and passing them used lots of skills. 

But when worlds collide 

(Globus – BOOM!!!)

said George Pal to his bride, 

I’m going to give you some terrible thrills, like a

RAJOS X!

Science fiction – double feature, 

Doctor X 

SEX, SEX, SEX! 

will build a creature. 

See androids fighting 

I FOLLANT I LLEPANT A 

Brad and Janet. 

Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet. 

Oh, oh, oh, oh… at the late night, double feature, 

ROCKY HORROR picture show. 

I wanna go, oh, ho, ho… 

to the late night, double feature, 

ROCKY HORROR

picture show, By RKO. Oh, oh, oh…

To the late night, double feature, 

ROCKY HORROR picture show. 

LA MILLOR FILA PER FOLLAR? 

In the back row. 

HOLA ÚLTIMA FILA!

Oh, ho, ho… to the late night, double feature, picture show.

—————————– fi ♬♪♩ 

( Escena de casament )

(ARRÒS)

NIEPCEEEEEEEE

Ralph Hapschatt: 

Well, I guess we really did it, huh? 

PEGA-LI! 

TORNA-LI!

Brad: I don’t think there’s any doubt about that. You and Betty have been almost inseparable since you met in Dr. Scott’s refresher course. 

Ralph Hapschatt: Well, to tell you the truth Brad, that was the only reason I showed up in the first place. 

PEGA-LI! 

Betty Hapschatt: Okay you guys, this is it! You ready?

Ralph Hapschatt: Looks like Betty’s going to throw her bouquet. 

JANET, TENS EL CONY BRUT?

Janet: I got it! I got it! 

EEEEECS!

Ralph Hapschatt: Hey big fella… looks like it could be your turn next eh?

Brad: Who knows? 

Ralph Hapschatt: Well, so long. See you Brad. See you Brad. ADÉU, GILIPOLLES!

TRENCA-LI EL COTXE!

CAGAT

Janet: Oh Brad, wasn’t it wonderful? NO! 

Didn’t Betty look radiantly beautiful? NO! 

Oh, I can’t believe that an hour ago she was plain old Betty Monroe, and now …now she’s Mrs. Ralph Hapschatt. 

Brad: Yes Janet, Ralph’s a lucky guy. 

Janet: Yes! 

PERÒ TÉ SÍFILIS

Lady:I always cry at weddings. 

I RIUS ALS FUNERALS

Brad: Why everyone knows that Betty’s a wonderful little cook. 

Janet: Yes!

I UNA GRAN FOLLADORA

Brad: Why Ralph himself, he’ll be in line for a promotion in a year or two.

Janet: Yes!

Brad: Hey Janet.

Janet: Brad?

Brad: I’ve got something to say. 

DONCS DIGUE-HO! 

I really loved the… QUE HO DIGUIS!

skillful way 

VA COLLONS

you beat the girls to the bride’s bouquet. 

DONCS CANTA-HO, GILIPOLLES!

—————————————

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩ – “Dammit Janet” 

The river was deep, but I swam it. JANET

The future is ours so let’s plan it. JANET

So please don’t tell me to can it. JANET

There’s one thing to say and that’s damn it, Janet! I love you! 

SAPS CÓRRER MARXA ENRERE?

The road was long, but I ran it. JANET

There’s a fire in my heart and you fan it. JANET.

If there’s one fool for you then I am it. JANET

I have one thing to say and that’s damn it! Janet! I love you! 

Here’s the ring to prove that I’m no joker. 

There’s three ways that love can grow. 

SEXE, DROGUES I ROCK N’ ROLL 

That’s good, bad, or mediocre.

DELETREJA’M ‘GUARRA’

J-A-N-E-T, I love you so!

Janet: Oh, this is nicer than Betty Monroe had. OH BRAD

Now we’re engaged and I’m so glad. OH BRAD

That you met mom and you know dad. OH BRAD

There’s one thing to say and that’s: 

Brad, I’m mad for you too! 

QUI ÉS EL GILIPOLLES DE LA PELI?

Oh Brad!

Brad: Oh… …damn it!

Janet: I’m mad.

Brad: Oh Janet!

Janet: For you.

Brad: I love you too-oo-oo-oo.

Brad and Janet: There’s one thing left to do AH-OO.

Brad: And that’s go see the man who began it. JANET

When we met in his science exam-it. JANET.

Made me give you the eye and then panic. JANET 

Now I’ve one thing to say and that’s damn it! Janet! I love you! 

Damn it, Janet…

Janet: Oh Brad, I’m mad.

Brad: Damn it, Janet. Damn it! Janet!I love you… 

PARTIU LA CREU, SI US PLAU. 

GRÀCIES

—————————————– fi ♬♪♩ 

AQUEST HOME NO TÉ COLL! 

Criminologist: 

II would like, 

T’AGRADARIA

…If I may, 

ET DEIXEM

…to take you 

ON? 

…on a strange journey. 

COM ERA D’ESTRANY? 

VA, AGAFA UN LLIBRE I EXPLICA-HO

TRES PÀGINES PEL GILIPOLLES

DUES PÀGINES PEL GILIPOLLES

UNA PÀGINA PEL GILIPOLLES

GILIPOLLES!

It seemed a fairly ordinary night, when Brad Majors 

GILIPOLLES

and his fiancee’ Janet Weiss, 

GUARRA

two young, ordinary, healthy kids, left Denton, that late November evening to visit a Dr. Everett Scott 

LLEPACULS! 

ex-tutor, and now friend to both of them. 

ÉS CERT QUE ET MASTURBES? 

It’s true, there were dark storm clouds. 

DESCRIU LES TEVES BOLES. 

heavy, UH! 

black UH!

and pendulous UH!

toward which they were driving. 

ÉS CERT QUE FOLLES GALLINES? 

It’s true also, that the spare tire they were carrying was badly in need of some air, 

COM EL TEU COLL! 

…but they being normal kids and on a night out, 

well they weren’t going to let a storm spoil the events of their evening. 

On a night out

UNA QUÈ? 

…it was a night ouT 

AH! 

…they were going to remember 

QUANT DE TEMPS? 

…for a very long time.

———————————————–

[Escena del cotxe]

NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH – BATMAN!

President Nixon: I have never been a quitter. To leave office before my term is completed is abhorrent to every instinct in my body. But as President, I must put the interests of America first. 

QUÈ NECESSITEN ELS AMERICANS? 

American needs a full time President, 

UN LAXANT, BRAD? 

…and a full time Congress, particularly at this time…

Janet: Gosh, that’s the third motorcycle that’s past us. 

They sure do take their lives in their hands, what with the weather and all.

DIGUES ALGUNA TONTERIA, BRAD

Brad: Yes Janet, life’s pretty cheap for that type. 

NO EN MENGIS QUE ET SORTIRAN GRANS

Janet: What’s the matter Brad darling? 

HI HA SEMEN AL PARABRISES

Brad: Hmmm, we must’ve take a wrong fork a few miles back. 

Janet: OH. But then where did that motorcyclist come from? 

DE MONTMELÓ!

Brad: Well, I guess we’ll just have to turn back.

Janet: What was that bang? 

Brad: We must have a blowout, damn it! 

PEGA-LI!

… I knew I should have gotten that spare tire fixed. 

GILIPOLLES! 

Well, you just stay here and keep warm and I’ll go for help.

Janet: Where will you go? We’re in the middle of nowhere.

Brad: 

PENSA EN EL CASTELL, GILIPOLLES!

Didn’t we pass a castle back down the road a few miles? 

BRAVO! 

Maybe they have a telephone I could use. 

ELS CASTELLS NO TENEN TELÈFON

Janet: I’m going with you.

Brad: Oh darling, there’s no sense in both of us getting wet.

Janet: I’m coming with you! Besides darling, the owner of that phone might be a beautiful woman and you might never come back again.

PEGA-LI!

——————————————————

[Escena de pluja]

(PISTOLES D’AIGUA I DIARIS)

COMPRA’T UN PARAIGÜES, GUARRA!

ACOSTA LA CÀMERA, SI US PLAU

GRÀCIES

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩ –  “Over at the Frankenstein Place”  

( FINAL DE LES PISTOLES D’AIGUA I DIARIS)

(LLANTERNA A LA TORNADA, FINS LA PARAULA “DARKNESS” )

Janet: In the velvet darkness of the blackest night 

burning bright 

QUÈ HI HA AL TEU CUL?

there’s a guiding star. 

DEU FER MAL

No matter what or, who you are. 

QUÈ HI HA A LA NEVERA? 

There’s a light, over at the Frankenstein place. 

There’s a light, burning in the fireplace. 

There’s a light, a light,

in the darkness of everybody’s life. 

Riff Raff: 

CANTA, RIFF! 

Darkness must go down the river of night’s dreaming. 

APROPEU LA CÀMERA

Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming into my life.

Into my life…

QUÈ HI HA AL MICROONES? 

Janet: There’s a light, over at the Frankenstein place. 

There’s a light, burning in the fireplace. 

There’s a light, a light, 

in the darkness of everybody’s life.

———————————– fi ♬♪♩ 

ON COLLONS ESTEM?

GRÀCIES

Criminologist: 

And so it seemed that fortune had smiled on Brad and Janet, and that they had found the assistance that their plight required. 

N’ESTÀS SEGUR?

Or had they?

A-HA!

—————————————————————-

Janet: Oh Brad, let’s go back! I’m cold and I’m frightened? 

Brad: Just a moment Janet. They may have a phone.

PER QUÈ TENS UN CONDÓ AL CABELL?

DING DONG, TRUCA EL GILIPOLLES

Riff Raff: 

DIGUES HOLA! 

Hello…

Brad: Hi! My name’s Brad Majors 

GILIPOLLES! 

and this is my fiancee’ Janet Weiss. 

GUARRA! 

I wonder if you might help us, you see, our car broke down a few miles up the road. 

Do you have a phone we might use?

COM TENEN ELS GENITALS?

Riff Raff: You’re wet… 

JANET ETS UNA GUARRA?

Janet: Yes, it’s raining. 

NO FOTIS! EL BRAD ES GILIPOLLES?

Brad: Yes! 

TU TAMBE HO PENSES, RIFF?

Riff Raff: Yes …I think perhaps you’d better both come inside. 

Janet: 

JANET, SIGUES AMABLE

You’re too kind. 

MOLT BÉ

Oh Brad, I’m frightened! What kind of place is this?

Brad: Oh, it’s probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdoes. 

O EL PIS DE DALT DEL BRAVIUM

Riff Raff:

EI RIFF, PER ON ÉS? 

This way… 

SEGUIU EL DIT QUE REBOTA!

Janet: Are you having a party?

Riff Raff: You’ve arrived on a rather special night. It’s one of the master’s affairs. 

Janet: Oh, lucky him.

Magenta: You’re lucky, he’s lucky, I’m lucky, WE’RE ALL LUCKY!

——————————————————-

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩ –  “Time Warp”  

EI RIFF, PRESENTA’NS A TA MARE

COM ÉS FER UN TRIO?

Riff Raff: It’s astounding, time is fleeting. 

Madness, takes it’s toll, 

but listen closely…

QUANTA ESTONA?

Magenta: Not for very much longer.

Riff Raff: 

QUÈ HAS DE FER? 

I’ve got to keep control. 

PER EL CONTROL! 

I remember, doing the Time Warp! 

PATADA! PATADA! 

Drinking… those moment’s when, 

the blackness would hit me, 

and the voice would be calling…

Transylvanians: Let’s do the Time Warp again! 

Let’s do the Time Warp again!

Criminologist: 

COM ES FA? 

It’s just a jump to the left…

Transylvanians: And then a step to the right.

Criminologist: With your hands on your hips.

Transylvanians: 

You bring your knees in tight, but it’s the pelvic thrust 

that really drives you insane.

Let’s do the Time Warp again! 

Let’s do the Time Warp again!

Magenta: It’s so dreamy. 

Oh, fantasy free me! So you can’t see me 

ET MASTURBES? 

no, not at all.

ON FOLLES?

In another dimension, 

COM FOLLES?

with voyeuristic intentions? Where secluded, 

POTS VEURE AIXÒ? 

I see all. 

MERDA!

Riff Raff: With a bit of the mind flip.

Magenta: You’re into the time slip! 

Riff Raff: And nothing can ever be the same.

Magenta: You’re spaced out on sensation.

Riff Raff: 

MÉS FORT!! 

Like you’re under sedation!

Transylvanians: Let’s do the Time Warp again! Let’s do the Time Warp again!

Columbia: (UH UH UUUHHHH)

Well I was walking down the street, just a-having a think,

when a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink. 

He shook-a me up, he took me by surprise, 

he had a pickup truck and the devil’s eyes. 

He stared at me and I felt a change, 

time meant nothing, never would again.

Transylvanians: Let’s do the Time Warp again! 

Let’s do the Time Warp again!

UN, DOS, TRES, CUATRO

YO ME TIRO HASTA A UN GATO.

CINCO, SEIS, SIETE, OCHO

ME DA IGUAL CULO QUE CHOCHO.

NUEVE, DIEZ, ONCE, DOCE

QUE SE JODA EL QUE NO GOCE

Criminologist: It’s just a jump to the left.

Transylvanians: And then a step to the right.

Criminologist: With your hands on your hips.

Transylvanians: You bring your knees in tight, but it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. Let’s do the Time Warp again! Let’s do the Time Warp again! Let’s do the Time Warp again! Let’s do the Time Warp again!

Criminologist:  It’s just a jump to the left.

Transylvanians: And then a step to the right.

Criminologist: With your hands on your hips.

Transylvanians: You bring your knees in tight, but it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. Let’s do the Time Warp again! Let’s do the Time Warp again! 

FEM LA TORTUGA!

——————————————-♬♪♩ 

Janet: Say something.

Brad: 

DIGUES UNA TONTERIA 

Say… one of you guys know how to Madison? 

GILIPOLLES

Janet: Brad please, let’s get out of here.

Brad: For God’s sake, keep a grip on yourself, Janet.

Janet: But it seems so unhealthy here.

Brad: It’s just a party Janet.

CHU-CHU 

QUE VIENE, QUE VIENE…

Janet: Well I want to go!

Brad: Well we can’t go anywhere till I get to a phone.

Janet: Well then ask the butler or someone.

Brad: Just a moment Janet, we don’t want to interfere with their celebration.

Janet: This isn’t the Junior Chamber of Commerce Brad!

Brad: They’re probably foreigners with ways different than our own. They may do some more… Folk Dancing.

Janet: Look, I’m cold, I’m wet, and I’m just plain scared!

Brad: I’m here, there’s nothing to worry about. 

—————————————————————

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩ – “Sweet Transvestite”  

Frank: How do you do, 

I see you’ve met my faithful handyman. 

He’s just a little brought down, 

because when you knocked, 

DING DONG

he thought you were the Candy Man. 

Don’t get strung out 

PER QUÈ?

by the way I look. 

AH

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. 

I’m not much of a man by the light of day, 

but by night I’m one hell of a lover. 

OOOOHHHH!!!

I’m just a sweet Transvestite, from Transsexual, Transylvania. 

Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound. 

You look like you’re both pretty groovy. 

Or if you want something visual, 

that’s not too abysmal, 

we could take in an old Steve Reeves’ movie.

Brad: I’m glad we caught you at home. Could we use your phone? We’re both in a bit of a hurry.

Janet: Right.

Brad: We’ll just say where we are, then go back to the car. We don’t want to be any worry.

Frank: 

LLENÇA’L! 

Well you got caught with a flat, well… how ‘bout that? 

Well babies, don’t you panic. 

By the light of the night, it’ll all seem all right. 

I’ll get you a Satanic mechanic. 

I’m just a sweet Transvestite, 

HOOCHIE HOOCHIE 

HOOCHIE HOOCHIE

from Transsexual, Transylvania. 

Why don’t you stay for the night?

Riff Raff: Night. 

NIGHT!

Frank: Or maybe a bite?

Columbia: Bite! 

BITE!

Frank: I could show you my favorite obsession.

SEXE! 

I’ve been making a man. 

With blonde hair and a tan. 

And he’s good for relieving my SEXUAL tension. 

I’m just a sweet Transvestite 

EI COLUMBIA, REPASSA-TE’L! 

from Transsexual, Transylvania. 

A-ha! Hit it! Hit it!

EL TRENET!

I’m just a sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania! 

So! 

QUÈ?

Come up to the lab, and see what’s on the slab.

I see you shiver with antici… 

DIGUE-HO! 

…pation. 

OH!

But maybe the rain, is really to blame, 

so I’ll remove the cause… 

SÍ, PERÒ I EL SÍMPTOMA? 

…but not the symptom!

Aplaudiments )

———————————-  Fi ♬♪♩ 

Janet: 

QUÈ DIUS QUAN ET FOLLA EL BRAD? 

Thank you.

Brad: QUÈ DIUS QUAN ET DONEN PEL CUL? 

Thank you very much.

Janet: Oh, oh Brad!

Brad: It’s all right Janet, we’ll play along for now and pull out the aces when the time is right.

Columbia: 

COM T’AGRADA EL SEXE? 

Slowly, slowly, it’s too nice a job to rush.

Brad: 

Hi! My name’s Brad Majors

GILIPOLLES 

And this is my fiancé Janet Weiss. 

GUARRA. 

You are, uh.

Columbia: You’re very lucky to be invited up to Frank’s laboratory, some people would give their right arm for the privilege. 

Brad: People like you, maybe?

Columbia: Hah! I’ve seen it! 

AGAFA ALGUNA COSA ÚTIL, BRAD: MOLT BÉ, UNA SABATA!

Magenta: Come along, the Master doesn’t like to be kept waiting. Shift it! 

L’AMPOLLA!

COLLONS…

Janet: Is he, Frank I mean, is he your husband?

Columbia: Hah!

Riff Raff: The Master is not yet married, nor do I think he ever will be. We are simply his

ESCLAUS

…servants. 

ÉS EL MATEIX

Janet: Oh.

————————————————————

[Escena del laboratori]

1ª PLANTA, MODA INFANTIL I ESPORTS

2ª PLANTA, LABORATORI TRAVESTI

GUARRES PRIMER.

GILIPOLLES DESPRÉS

♬♪♩ WE ARE THE WORLD… ♬♪♩ 

QUIN ÉS EL TEU COLOR PREFERIT?

Frank:  Magenta! 

I LA MARCA DEL TEU ANORACK? 

Columbia! 

Go and assist Riff Raff. 

I will entertain, um, ahh…

Brad: Brad Majors. 

GILIPOLLES! 

This is my fiancé, Janet Vice. 

GUARRA!

Janet: Weiss!

Brad: Weiss.

DIGUES ALGO EN FRANCÈS

Frank:  Enchanté. 

QUÈ SIGNIFICA?

Well how nice. 

MENTIDA

And what charming underclothes you both have. But here, put these on, they’ll make you feel less… 

DESPULLATS?

vulnerable.

ÉS EL MATEIX 

It’s not often we receive visitors here, let alone offer them hospitality.

Brad: Hospitality? All we wanted to do was to use your telephone God damn it. A reasonable request which you’ve chosen to ignore.

Janet: Brad don’t be ungrateful!

Brad: Ungrateful!

Frank: How forceful you are Brad, Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So… 

JUANTXI 

… dominant. 

ÉS EL MATEIX

You must be awfully proud of him, Janet.

ESTÀS CATXONDA?

Janet: Well yes, I am.

Frank: Do you have any tattoos Brad?

Brad: 

UN UNICORN

Certainly not!

Frank: Oh well, how ‘bout you? 

UN PORTAAVIONS

Riff Raff: Everything is in readiness Master, we merely await your word. 

NO EM MULLIS EL TRAJE NOU… MERDA!

QUAN ÉS L’ORGIA?

Frank: Tonight! My unconventional conventionalists, you are to witness a new breakthrough in biochemical research and paradise is to be mine! 

( Aplaudiments )

ENSENYA L’ALTAVEU!

It was strange the way it happened. Suddenly you get a break 

( GUANT – 1 )

and all the pieces seem to fit into place. 

UN PUZZLE?

What a sucker you’ve been, what a fool. The answer was there all the time, it took a small accident  to make it happen. 

UN QUÈ? 

An accident! 

And that’s how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient, that… spark! 

That is the breath of life. 

SAPS COM MASTURBAR-TE? 

Yes! 

CONEIXES EL SEXE GAY? 

I have that knowledge. 

I hold the secret. 

TO LIFE? To life.

ITSELF? Itself! 

( CARRAUS I ESPANTA-SOGRES )

( GUANT – 2)

You see, you are fortunate, for tonight is the night 

( GUANT – 3 )

that my beautiful creature is destined to be born! 

( CARRAUS I ESPANTA-SOGRES )

Throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator 

and step up the reactor power input  three more points!

♬♪♩roda, roda moliner, xocolata, xocolata, roda, roda moliner ♬♪♩

Frank: Oh!

Janet: Oh Brad!

Brad: It’s all right Janet! 

RIFF SOMRIU A CÀMERA… A L’ALTRA CÀMERA!

DE QUIN TAMANY T’AGRADEN LES CIGALES, FRANK?

ÉS UNA SOPA DE FERRAN ADRIÀ?

ÉS UN HOME TAMPÓ!

( APLAUDIMENTS )

Frank: Oh! Oh Rocky!

DIGUES ALGO INTEL·LIGENT!

Rocky Horror: UouNNNNNNNNNghhhh!!!

————————————————————

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩ – “Sword of Damocles”  / “Charles Atlas song”

Rocky Horror: 

The Sword of Damocles is hanging over my head 

and I’ve got the feeling someone’s gonna be cutting the thread! 

PEGA-LI!

Oh, woe is me, my life is a misery and can’t you see 

that I’m at the start of a pretty big downer! 

I woke up this morning with a start when I fell out of bed.

Transylvanians: That ain’t no crime!

Rocky Horror: And left from my dreaming was a feeling of unnamable dread.

Transylvanians: That ain’t no crime!

Rocky Horror: My high is low. 

I’m dressed up with no place to go 

and all I know is that I’m at the start of a pretty big downer.

Frank: Oh Rocky!

Transylvanians: Sha-la-la. That ain’t no crime!

Rocky Horror: The Sword of Damocles is hanging over my head.

Transylvanians: That ain’t no crime!

Rocky Horror: And I’ve got the feeling someone’s gonna be cutting the thread!

Transylvanians: That ain’t no crime!

Rocky Horror: Oh, woe is me, my life is a mystery, 

and can’t you see that I’m at the start of a pretty big downer. 

Transylvanians: Sha-la-la. That ain’t no crime! 

————————— Fi ♬♪♩ 

Frank: Oh really! That’s no way to behave on your first day out! 

EL PERDONARÀS? 

But, hmm, since you’re such an exceptional beauty, 

PERDONA’L!

I’m prepared to forgive you. 

FES EL MICO!

Oh, I just love success!

Riff Raff: He’s a credit to your genius Master.

Frank: Yes!

Magenta: A triumph of your will!

Frank: Yes!

Columbia: He’s okay!

Frank: Okay? 

MATA EL MOSQUIT!

Okay!? I think we can do better than that! 

PREGUNTA A LA BARBIE I EL KEN

Now, Brad and Janet, what do you think of him?

Janet: Well, I don’t like men with too many muscles. 

NOMÉS UN MÚSCUL, I BEN GRAN

Frank: I didn’t make him for you! He carries the Charles Atlas Seal of Approval. 

( APLAUDIMENTS )

———————————————————————–

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩ – “I Can Make You a Man”  

DESCRIU AL JORDI HURTADO

A weakling weighing 98 pounds 

will get sand in his face when kicked to the ground. 

LI HA AGRADAT!

And soon in the gym with a determined chin, 

the sweat from his pores 

as he works 

NO SAP LLEGIR! 

for his cause. 

Will make him glisten and gleam and with massage 

and just a little bit of 

VASELINE 

steam. 

VES A PEL PREMI D’OR!

UIX!!

He’ll be pink and quite clean. 

He’ll be a strong man, oh honey, 

but the wrong man. 

He’ll eat nutritious, high protein, 

SEMEN?

and swallow raw eggs, 

ENSENYA EL TEU CONSOLADOR PETIT

try to build up his shoulders, his chest, arms, and legs! 

Such an effort, if he only knew of my plan, 

in just seven days 

AND SEVEN NIGHTS! 

I can make you a man

He’ll do press-up and chip-ups. 

Do the snatch, clean, and jerk. 

He digs dynamic tension, must be hard work. 

Such strenuous living, 

I just don’t understand when 

in just seven days 

AND SEVEN NIGHTS! 

I can make you a man! 

VIGILEU LA PORTA VERMELLA!

————————————– Fi ♬♪♩ 

Columbia: Eddie! 

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩ – “Hot Patootie – Bless My Soul”  

ULLERES A L’EQUERRA

CASCO A LA DRETA

I A RODAR!

Whatever happened to Saturday night

when you’re at the job and you felt all right. 

It don’t seem the same since cosmic light, 

came into my life, I thought I was divine. 

I use to go for a ride with a chick who’d go 

and listen to the music on the radio. 

A saxophone was blowing on a rock n roll show, 

we climbed in the back seat and baby had a real good time. 

Hot patootie, bless my soul, 

I really love that rock n roll! 

plas – plas – plas – plas )

x4

( saxo) 

Transylvanians: Lovely party! 

GENOLL! PATADA!

GENOLL! PATADA!

My head, it used to swim from the perfume I smelled, 

my hands kinda fumbled with her white plastic belt. 

I kissed my baby’s pink lipstick and that’s when I’d melt, 

she’d whisper in my ear tonight she really was mine. 

Get back in front, put some hair oil on, 

Buddy Holly was singing his very last song. 

With your arms around your girl you try to sing along. 

It felt pretty good, baby had a real good time! 

Hot patootie, bless my soul,

I really love that rock n roll… 

plas – plas – plas – plas )

x8

PAS-PAS-PAS-PEU

PAS-PAS-PAS-PEU

PAS-PEU

PAS-PEU

UUUUHHHH!!!

LOVE

HATE

FARRUQUITO!

— 

( CRITS )

————————————— Fi ♬♪♩ 

EL PROPER COP POSA’T UN TAMPÓ

Frank: One from the vaults. 

MAGENTA, BOSSES DE TE PER VAMPIRS

Oh baby! 

ESTIC ENFADAT!

Don’t be upset. 

PER QUÈ HAS VOTAT PELLICER?

It was a mercy killing. 

He had a certain naive charm, but no muscle! 

ENSENYA EL MÚSCUL!

OHHHH!!

————————————————————

 – “I Can Make You a Man (Reprise)”  

But a deltoid, and a bicep, 

QUÈ HI HA PER DINAR?

a cut groin, and a tricep, makes me

FES-TE ENANO!

… shake! 

Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the hand. 

In just seven days 

AND SEVEN NIGHTS

I can make you a man. 

TOMA! ( A CADA PATADA ) x8

I don’t want no dissension, just dynamic tension

Janet: 

CANTA, GUARRA!

I’m a muscle fan!

Frank: 

In just seven days 

AND SEVEN NIGHTS! 

I can make you a man! 

Dig it, if you can! 

In just seven days 

AND SEVEN NIGHTS 

I can make you a man.

( CONFETI )

——————————— Fi  ♬♪♩ 

LA VIDA ÉS UNA IL·LUSIÓ!

Criminologist: There are those who say life is an illusion, 

COM EL TEU COLL!

that reality is simply a figment of the imagination. 

COM EL TEU COLL!

If this is so, then Brad and Janet are quite safe.  

However, the sudden departure of their host and his creation, into the seclusion of his somber bridal suite had left them feeling both apprehensive and uneasy. 

A feeling which grew 

COM EL TEU COLL!

as the other guests departed and they were shown to their separate rooms. 

——————————————–

( Escena d’habitació – 1 )

VIGILA L’AIGUA BENEÏDA!

——————————————–

NO HI HA INTIMITAT, AQUÍ?

——————————————-

LA MATEIXA HABITACIÓ, QUINA PELI MÉS BARATA!

———————————————

Janet: Who is it? Who’s there?

Frank: It’s only me Janet.

Janet: Oh Brad darling, come in. 

ENTRA-LI FINS AL FONS!

Oh Brad! Oh yes, my darling, oh, but what if?

Frank: It’s all right, Janet, 

TINC CONDONS

everything’s going to be all right.

VIGILA EL CABELL! 

Janet: Oh, I hope so my darling. 

Oh! 

UNA GAT MORT! 

It’s you!

Frank: I’m afraid so Janet, but isn’t it nice?

Janet: Oh you beast! You monster, oh! What have you done with Brad? 

RES ENCARA!

Frank: Oh well, nothing. Why? Do you think I should?

Janet: You tricked me! I wouldn’t have, I never, never…

I AQUELL EQUIP DE FUTBOL?

Frank: Yes, yes I know, but it isn’t all bad is it? I think you’ll really find it quite pleasurable.

Janet: Oh, oh stop! I mean help! Oh Brad, oh Brad! 

EL BRAD NO HI ÉS… Y LO SABES

Frank: Brad’s probably asleep by now, do you want him to see you like this?

Janet: It’s your fault, you’re to blame! Oh, I was saving myself.

Frank: I’m sure you’re not spent, yet.

GASTA-LA!

Janet: Promise you won’t tell Brad?

Frank: Cross my heart and hope to die. 

CONFIRMAT: ÉS UNA GUARRA

———————————————————

(Escena de neteja del laboratori)

VA, TREPITJA-LI EL TERRA FREGAT

TU ET FOLLES LA MOPA I JO AL MONSTRE, OK?

SABEM QUÈ ESTÀS PENSANT… PERÒ SENSE VASELINA RES DE RES

UN APRETÓN.

ON ÉS EL WÀTER AQUÍ?

SEXE AMB EL COLZE!

FES-LI UN CHUPETÓN!

———————————————————–

( Escena d’habitació – 2 )

Frank: Oh Brad darling, it’s no good here. It’ll destroy us.

Brad: Don’t worry Janet, we’ll be away from here in the morning.

Frank: Oh Brad, you’re so strong and protective. 

NO TOQUIS EL CABELL, ÉS EL MATEIX GAT MORT!

Brad: You!

Frank: I’m afraid so Brad, but isn’t it nice?

Brad: Why you, what have you done with Janet?

FOLLAR-SE-LA

Frank: Oh nothing.

Why? Do you think I should?

Brad: You tricked me. I wouldn’t have, I’ve never, never, never! 

I AQUELL COP D’ESCOLANET?

Frank: Yes, I know, but it isn’t all bad is it? Not even half bad. I think you really quite enjoyed it.

Brad: Oh stop it, stop it. Janet, Janet! 

NO ÉS AQUÍ… Y LO SABES

Frank: Janet’s probably asleep by now, do you want her to see you like this?

Brad: Like this, like hell! It’s you’re fault, you’re to blame! I thought it was the real thing! MOSSEGA!

Frank: Oh come on Brad, admit it. You liked it, didn’t you? There’s no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure. Brad, we’ve wasted so much time already, Janet needn’t know, I won’t tell her. 

Brad: Well if you promise you won’t tell.

PER ON VAS FOLLAR AHIR?

Frank: On my mother’s grave. 

NO ES PARLA AMB LA BOCA PLENA

Riff Raff: Master, Rocky has broken his chains and vanished. The new playmate is loose and somewhere on the castle grounds. Magenta has just released the dogs. 

Frank: Coming! 

———————————————————–

(Escenaes de Janet i Rocky)

LES TRES CARES DE JANET WEISS

Janet: What’s happening here? Where’s Brad? Where’s anybody? 

EL ROCKY ENCARA NO HA TROBAT EL WATER

——————————————————–

(Escena de Janet i Rocky)

Janet: Oh Brad. 

OH JANET!

Brad my darling. How could I do this to you? 

NO T’HA COSTAT GENS, PUTÓN

Oh, if only we hadn’t made this journey. 

PERÒ L’HEU FET

If only the car hadn’t broken down. 

PERÒ HA PASSAT

If only we were amongst friends, or sane persons. 

PERÒ NO HI SOU

Oh Brad! 

QUÈ VOLS, GUARRA?

What have they done with him?

LA PALANCA ÉS UN CONSOLADOR?

Oh Brad, oh Brad how could you?

TORNAR A FUMAR?

Oh, but you’re hurt, did they do this to you? Oh here, I’ll dress your wounds. 

HI HA MÉS FERIDES QUE  FALDILLA

JANET, MIRA A L’ESQUERRA.

MIRA A LA DRETA.

SOMRIU SI ESTÀS CATXONDA

———————————————–

Criminologist: Emotion: Agitation or disturbance of mind, vehement or excited mental state. It is also a powerful and irrational master. And from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly viewed on their television monitor, there seemed little doubt that Janet was indeed 

UNA GUARRA

…it’s slave.

ÉS EL MATEIX

Columbia and Magenta: 

Tell us about it, Janet.

————————————————-

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩ –  “Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me”  

Janet: I was feeling done in, couldn’t win. 

COM EL NÀSTIC

The only other I’d kissed before.

Columbia: You mean she’s? DE L’OPUS?

Magenta: Uh-huh.

Janet: I thought there’s no use getting into heavy petting.

It only leads to trouble and seat wetting. 

Now all I want to know is how to go. 

I’ve tasted blood and I want more.

Columbia and Magenta: 

More SEMEN, more SEMEN, more SEMEN.

Janet: I’ll put up no resistance, 

I want to stay the distance. 

I’ve got an itch to scratch, 

PROVA VAGISIL

I need assistance! 

Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me, 

I wanna be dirty! 

Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me 

creature of the night. 

FA OLOR DE PEIX

Then if anything grows

COM UNA CIGALA

… while you pose, 

I’ll oil you up and rub you down. UP

Columbia and Magenta: 

Down UP, down UP, down UP.

Janet: And that’s just one small fraction 

of the main attraction. 

You need a friendly hand 

O DUES!

and I need action! 

Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me, 

I wanna be dirty! 

Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me 

creature of the night.

Columbia: 

Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me!

Magenta: I wanna be dirty!

Columbia: Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me!

Magenta: Creature of the night!

Janet: Oh! Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me, I wanna be dirty! 

Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me creature of the night. 

SEGÜENT! 

Rocky Horror: Creature of the night!

SEGÜENT! 

Brad: Creature of the night!

SEGÜENT! 

Frank: Creature of the night!

SEGÜENT! 

Magenta: Creature of the night!

SEGÜENT! 

Riff Raff: Creature of the night!

SEGÜENT! 

Columbia: Creature of the night!

SEGÜENT! 

Rocky Horror: Creature of the night!

SEGÜENT! 

Janet: Creature of the night! 

ORGASME JA

————————————————–  Fi ♬♪♩

(Escena del laboratori)

MÉS, MÉS! ( A cada cop )

Riff Raff: Mercy!

Frank: How did it happen? I understood you were to be watching!

Riff Raff: I was only away for a minute, Master

Frank: Well see if you can find him on the monitor! 

UIX, A MI NO EM PEGA AIXÍ…

Riff Raff: Master. Master. We have a visitor.

Brad: Hey, Scotty! Dr. Everett Scott. 

LLEPACULS!

Riff Raff: You know this Earthling… Person?

Brad: I most certainly do, he happens to be an old friend of mine.

Frank: I see! So this wasn’t simply a chance meeting, you came here on purpose. 

Brad: I told you my car broke down, I was telling the truth. 

Frank: I know what you told me Brad, but this Dr. Everett Scott, his name is not unknown to me.

Brad: He was a science teacher at Denton High School.

Frank: And now he works for your government, doesn’t he Brad? He’s attached to the Bureau of Investigation, MUGRÓ!

of that which you call UFO’s! Isn’t that right Brad?

Brad: He might be, I don’t know!

Riff Raff: The intruder is entering the building Master.

ON DEU ESTAR?

Frank: He’ll probably be in the Zen Room. Shall we inquire of him in person? 

—————————

(Tour de la  cadira de rodes)

DRAGON KHAN!

DÓNA LA VOLTA A LES LESBIANES!

NINGÚ FA SERVIR LA PORTA?

—————————–

Brad: Great Scott! 

( PAPER DE WATER )

TÉ RODES PERÒ NO TÉ FRENS!

Dr. Scott: Frank N Furter, we meet at last! 

Brad: Dr. Scott!

Dr. Scott: Brad what are you doing here? 

DEIXAR-ME DONAR PEL  CUL!

Frank: Don’t play games Dr. Scott. You know perfectly well what Brad Majors is doing here. It was part of your plan was it not, that he and his female should check the layout for you? Well, unfortunately for you all, the plans are to be changed. 

S’HA SUSPÈS L’ORGIA? 

I hope you’re adaptable Dr. Scott, I know Brad is. 

CHIVATO!

Dr. Scott: I can assure you that Brad’s presence here comes as a complete surprise to me. I came here to find Eddie.

Brad: Eddie? I’ve seen him…

Frank: Eddie? What do you know of Eddie, Dr. Scott?

Dr. Scott: I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things. 

MENYS CAMINAR

You see, Eddie happens to be my nephew.

Brad: Dr. Scott 

Dr. Scott: Janet!

Janet: Dr. Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank: Rocky! Ugh!

—–

Dr. Scott: Janet!

Janet: Dr. Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank: Rocky! Ugh!

——

Dr. Scott: Janet!

Janet: Dr. Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank: Rocky! Ugh!

Listen, I made you

I POTS DESTRUIR-LO?

… and I can break you just as easily!

Magenta: Master, dinner is prepared!

QUINES NOTES TREIES AL COLE?

Frank: Excellent, 

under the circumstances, formal dress is to be optional. 

——————————————————-

PER QUÈ MEGES MERDA?

Criminologist: Food has always played a vital role in life’s rituals. The breaking of bread, the last meal of a condemned man, and now this meal. However informal as it may appear, you can be sure there was to be very little, bonhomie.

—————————————————–

(Escena del sopar)

— 

QUÈ HI HA PER SOPAR? 

ABANS D’AHIR EL VAM TENIR AL VAPOR.

AHIR EL VAM TENIR AL VAPOR…

MERDA, AL VAPOR 

SENYORS I SENYORES, EL GANIVET BLACK&DECKER

SET FORQUILLES? 

NO MULLIS EL PLAT… MERDA

DOCTOR, JA S’HA TORNAT A CÓRRER? VA, NETEGI’S

Frank: A toast

( Torrades )

PEL DURAN I LLEIDA!

To absent friends.

ÉS EL MATEIX

All: To absent friends.

Frank: And Rocky. 

( Barrets d’aniversari )

♬♪♩ Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Rocky… shall we? 

Dr. Scott: We came here to discuss Eddie.

Columbia: Eddie?

Frank: 

ENFADA’T FRANK!

That’s a rather tender subject, another slice anyone? 

EN BRAD HO PILLA, LA JANET HO PILLA, EL DR SCOTT HO PILLA… EL ROCKY ÉS COM EL RAJOY

Columbia: Excuse me… 

VAIG A MASTURBAR-ME AMB UN CACTUS

Columbia: Aaaahhh!!!

Dr. Scott: I knew he was in with a bad crowd, but this is worse than I imagined. 

AMB QUI COLLONS PARLA?

Aliens!

All: Dr. Scott!

Frank: Go on Dr. Scott, or should I say Dr. Von Scott! 

SIEG HEIL!

Brad: What exactly are you implying?

Dr. Scott: It’s all right!

Brad: But Dr. Scott!

Dr. Scott: That’s all right Brad. 

————————————————————-

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩  – “Eddie’s teddy”  

DES DE QUAN L’EDDIE ÉS GAY?

Dr. Scott: From the day he was born

he was trouble. 

He was the thorn, 

in his mother’s side. 

She tried in vain.

Criminologist:

But her never caused her nothing, but shame. 

COM EL TEU COLL!

Dr Scott: He ( clap ) left ( clap ) home ( clap ) the day she died. 

From the day he was born 

XU-BI-DUBI-DU-À

all he wanted, 

XUPAR-SE-LA

was Rock n Roll porn 

und a motor bike. 

Shooting up junk.

Criminologist: He was a low down, cheap little punk.

Dr. Scott: Taking everyone for a ride! 

All: When Eddie said he didn’t like his teddy 

you knew he was a no good kid, 

( clap – clap )

but when he threatened your life 

with a switchblade knife…

Frank: What a guy!

Janet: Makes you cry!

Dr. Scott: Unt I did!

Columbia: Everybody shoved him, 

I very nearly loved him. 

I said hey I listen to me, 

stay sane inside security, 

but he locked the door and threw away the key!

♬♪♩ ¿DÓNDE ESTÁN LAS LLAVES? ♬♪♩

Dr. Scott: But be must have been drawn 

EL DIT AL CUL

…into something, 

making him warn 

A QUI?

…me in a note which reads…

All:  What’s it say, what’s it say?

Eddie’s voice: I’m outta my head. 

Oh, hurry, or I may be dead. 

They mustn’t carry out their evil deed! 

When Eddie said he didn’t like his teddy 

you knew he was a no good kid, 

( clap – clap )

but when he threatened your life 

with a switchblade knife…

Frank: What a guy!

Janet: Makes you cry!

Dr. Scott: Unt I did! 

All: When Eddie said he didn’t like his teddy 

you knew he was a no good kid, 

( clap – clap )

but when he threatened your life 

with a switchblade knife!

Frank: What a guy!

QUÈ DIU SANTA CLAUS?

All: oh oh oh

Janet: Makes you cry! 

EI EI EIIIII

Dr. Scott: Unt I did… 

All: Eddie

A TAULA NO ES RIU, MAGENTA

———————————— Fi  ♬♪♩ 

FRANK, ENSENYA EL MENÚ!

Frank: Oh Rocky, how could you? 

TIRAR-TE UNA TIA?

———————————————————-

(Escena de persecució)

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩ – “Planet, Schmanet, Janet”  

Dr. Scott: 

PER ON, PER ON? 

This way, this way!

Riff Raff: Ha, ha, ha! Shut up!

Frank: I’ll tell you once, I won’t tell you twice! 

You’d better wise up, Janet Weiss. 

Your apple pie, don’t taste too nice.

You’d better wise up, Janet Weiss.

I’ve laid the seed, it should be all you need. 

You’re as sensual as a pencil,

wound up like an E or first string. 

When we made it didn’t you hear a bell  ring?

( Campana )

You’ve got a block? 

Well take my advice, 

you’d better wise up, Janet Weiss. 

The Transducer, will seduce ya!

Janet: My feet! I can’t move my feet!

Dr. Scott: My wheels, my God I can’t move my wheels!

Brad: It’s as if we’re glued to the spot!

Frank: You are, so quake with fear you tiny fools!

SOBREACTUA, GUARRA

Janet: Oh, we’re trapped!

Frank: It’s something you’ll get used to, a mental mind fuck can be nice! 

UN, DOS, TRES, QUATRE… NINGÚ FA SERVIR LA PORTA AQUÍ?

Dr. Scott: You won’t find Earth people quite the easy mark you’ve imagined. This Sonic Transducer, it is I suppose, some kind of audio-vibratory, physio-molecular, transport device?

Brad: You mean? 

UN VIBRADOR

Dr. Scott: Yes Brad, it’s something we ourselves have been working on for quite some time. 

UN VIBRADOR DE TREBALL

….But it seems our friend here has found a means of perfecting it. 

UN VIBRADOR PERFECTE

A device which is capable of breaking down solid matter 

UN VIBRADOR LAXANT

and then projecting it through space and who knows, perhaps even time itself!

UN VIBRADOR COSMIC

Janet: You mean he’s going to send us to another planet?

Frank: Planet, Schmanet, Janet! Y

ou’d better wise up, Janet Weiss. 

You’d better wise up, build your thighs up, 

you’d better wise up…

Criminologist: And then she cried out!

Janet: Stop!

VIGILA EL POT!

Frank: Don’t get hot and flustered! 

NO TINC VASELINA!

Use a bit of mustard!

Brad: You’re a hot dog

( Salsitxes )

but you’d better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter!

Dr. Scott: You’re a hot dog, but you’d better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter!

Janet: You’re a hot dog!

BONES TETES, JANET!

Columbia: My God, I can’t stand any more of this. First you spurn me for Eddie and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky. You chew people up and then you spit them out again. 

M’ESTIMES?

I loved you… 

NO ET SENTO. 

Do you hear me? I loved you. 

And what did it get me. yeah I’ll tell you, a big nothing. You’re like a sponge, you take, take, take and drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah well, I’ve had enough. 

You’ve gotta choose between me and Rocky, so named because of the rocks in his head. 

UY LO QUE ME HA DICHO…

Frank: It’s not easy having a good time. 

PROVA PORT AVENTURA. 

— 

Even smiling makes my face ache. 

QUÈ VA DIR EL MICHAEL JACKSON AL JUDICI?

And my children turn on me, Rocky’s behaving just the way that Eddie did. Do you think I made a mistake, splitting his brain between the two of them?

Magenta: I grow weary of this world, when shall we return to Transylvania huh? 

Frank: Magenta, I am indeed grateful, to both you and your brother Riff Raff.

You have both served me well. Loyalty such as yours shall not go unrewarded. You will discover, that when the mood takes me I can be quite generous.

Magenta: I ask for nothing, Master!

Frank: And you shall receive it, in abundance! Come! We are ready for the floor show. 

NINGÚ ES MOU FINS QUE LI VEIEM ELS ULLS… MERDA, TARD!

SEXE AMB EL COLZE!

——————————————–

Criminologist: So, by some extraordinary coincidence, fate it seemed, had decided that Brad and Janet should keep their appointment with their friend, Dr. Everett Scott. But it was to be in a situation which none of them could have possibly foreseen. And just a few hours after announcing their engagement, Brad and Janet had both tasted… 

LA CIGALA DEL FRANK! 

…forbidden fruit. 

ÉS EL MATEIX

This in itself was proof that their host was a man of little morals and some persuasion. 

What further indignities were they to be subjected to? 

And what of the floor show that had been spoken of? 

ON ET MASTURBES? 

In an empty house? 

QUAN ET MASTURBES? 

In the middle of the night? 

What diabolical plan had seized Frank’s crazed imagination? 

FEM UN PICNIC?

What indeed? 

QUE SI FEM UN PICNIC

From what had gone before, it was clear this was to be no picnic.

OH

—————————————————

( Escena de cabaret – part 1) 

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩  – “Rose Tint My World”  

PAREU ATENCIÓ.

ARA VEUREU QUÈ PASSA QUAN NO TE’L TRAGUES.

Columbia: 

COM ERA EL SEXE AMB EL FRANK? 

It was great when it all began, 

I was a regular Frankie fan. 

But it was over when he had the plan, 

to start a working on a muscle man. 

Now the only thing that gives me hope, 

is my love of a certain dope. 

Rose tints my world, keeps me safe 

from my trouble and pain.

Rocky Horror: 

I am just seven hours old. 

I JA FOLLES!

Truly beautiful to behold. 

And somebody should be told 

my libido hasn’t been controlled. 

Now the only thing I’ve come to trust, 

is an orgasmic rush of lust. 

FOLLA’T LA BOA

Rose tints my world, keeps me safe 

from my trouble and pain!

Brad: 

It’s beyond me, 

help me mommy!

I’ll be good, you’ll see, 

take this dream away. 

What’s this? Let’s see. 

I feel sexy. 

What’s come over me? 

EL TREMOLOR GAY

Whoa, here it comes again!

Janet: 

Oh, I feel released, 

bad times decreased. 

My confidence has increased, 

reality is here. 

The game has been disbanded, 

my mind has been expanded. 

QUINA PESTE!

It’s a gas that Frankie’s landed, 

his lust is so sincere! 

TIRA UN PETÓ!

———————————————–

( Escena de cabaret – part 2) 

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩  – “Don’t dream it”  

Frank: Whatever happened to Faye Wray? 

That delicate, satin draped frame. 

ERA POLIESTER. 

As it clung to her thighs. 

How I started to cry 

cause I wanted to be dressed just the same. 

XUTA LA POLLA!

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. 

Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh. 

Erotic nightmares, 

COM TENS LA CIGALA?

beyond any measure, 

and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. 

Can’t you just see it, 

FES DE PAPA NOÉL

Oh, oh, ho… 

—————–

( Escena de piscina )

EL MICHELANGELO TAMBÉ FEIA PISCINES?

Don’t dream it, be it (x2)

ACOSTA LA CÀMERA!

GRÀCIES

Don’t dream it, be it (x14)

NETEJA’T LA GOLA! 

Dr. Scott: Ach! We’ve got to get out of this trap. Before this decadence saps our wills. I’ve got to be strong und try to hang on

COM EL BÁRCENAS

…or else my mind may well snap! Und my life will be lived…

PER QUÈ ET MASTURBES?

…for the thrill!

Brad: It’s beyond me, help me mommy! 

FES-LO CALLAR!

Janet: God bless Lily St. Cyr!

LA CAMA MÉS SEXI DE LA PELI

——————————————————–

( Escena de cabaret – part 3) 

♬♪♬♪♬♪♬♪ – Wild and untamed thing

Frank: 

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my! 

I’m a wild and an untamed thing. 

I’m a bee with a deadly sting. 

You get ahead and your mind goes ping! 

PING!

Your heart’ll pump and your blood will ring. 

So let the party and the sounds rock on! 

We’re gonna shake it till the light has gone. 

Rose tints my world, keeps me safe 

from my trouble and pain! 

All: 

We’re a wild and an untamed thing. 

PAS – PAS – PAS- CAMA

We’re a bee with a deadly sting. 

You get ahead and your mind goes ping! 

PING!

Your heart’ll pump and your blood will ring. 

So let the party and the sounds rock on! 

We’re gonna shake it till the light has gone. 

Rose tints my world, keeps me safe 

from my troubles and pain! 

We’re a wild and an untamed thing. 

( saxo )

QUE ALGÚ EM RASQUI ELS OUS, SI US PLAU!

We’re a wild and an untamed thing. 

PAS – PAS – PAS- CAMA

We’re a bee with a deadly sting. 

You get ahead and your mind goes ping! 

PING!

Your heart’ll pump and your blood will ring. 

So let the party and the sounds rock on! 

We’re gonna shake it till the light has gone. 

Rose tints my world, keeps me safe 

from my troubles and pain! 

Riff Raff: Frank N Furter, it’s all over. 

Your mission is a failure, 

your lifestyle’s too extreme!

I’m your new commander, 

you now are my prisoner. 

We return to Transylvania, 

prepare the transit beam.

——————— Fi ♬♪♬

Frank: Wait! 

QUÈ DIUS QUAN ET PILLEN TIRANT-TE A UN GOS?

I can explain! 

CLARO, CLARO…

COLUMBIA, ENSENYA’NS UNA CEBA LILA

GRÀCIES

7 HORES DE VIDA I JA ÉS TÈCNIC DE SO

♬♪♬♪♬♪♬♪ – I’m going home

On the day I went away, good-bye 

was all I had to say, now I, I

I want to come again and stay, oh my my

QUÈ FAS QUAN VEUS UNA GRAN CIGALA?

Smile, and that will mean I may. 

Cause I’ve seen, 

DÓNA’NS UNA O

Oh, blue skies through the tears 

in my eyes. 

ME ABURRO

And I realize

I’m going home!  

A VEURE ELS ULLS DE PORRETA

(I’m going home)

ON ET MASTRUBES? 

Everywhere 

it’s been the same. Feeling

QUÈ SENTS QUAN EL BRAD SE’T PIXA A SOBRE?

Like I’m outside in the rain. Wheeling

Free to try and find the game. Dealing

QUÈ NECESSITES PEL POKER?

Cards for sorrow, cards for pain!

( Cartes )

Cause I’ve seen… oh! 

EL  ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW

Blue skies 

through the tears in my eyes. 

And I realize

I’m going home! (x4)

( Aplaudiments i bravos )

TOTHOM XERRA. SEMBLA UNA ASSEMBLEA DE LA CUP

—————————-  Fi ♬♪♩ 

Magenta: How sentimental. 

ÉS EL PÚBLIC DE L’STEVIE WONDER. SHHHH NO LI DIGUEU

Riff Raff: And also presumptuous of you. F! You see. When I said we were to return to Transylvania, I referred only to Magenta and myself. I’m sorry, however, if you found my words misleading. But you see, you are to remain here… …in spirit anyway!

QUÈ ÉS AQUEST TRASTO?

Dr. Scott: Great heavens, that’s a laser!

Riff Raff: Yes Dr. Scott, a laser capable of emitting a beam of pure antimatter. 

LLAVORS NO ÉS UN LÀSER

Brad: You mean you’re going to kill him? What’s his crime?

Dr. Scott: You saw what became of Eddie! Society must be protected. 

Riff Raff: Exactly Dr. Scott. And now, Frank N Furter, your time has come. 

Say good-bye to all of this… 

ADÉU A TOTS AQUELLS

…and hello to oblivion. 

HOLA OBLIT, QUÈ TAL LA DONA I ELS NENS?

Columbia: Aaaahhh!!!!

Frank: Ugh! No, no, no. Aaaahhh!!!!! No, no, no, noooo

SOTA LA CORTINA, FRANK!

SOTA!

NO VEIA BARRIO SÉSAMO

NO PATIU. ESTARÀ BÉ SEMPRE QUE NO LI CAIGUI UNA CORDA A SOBRE.

MERDA

Rocky: Uugghhh, uuugghhhh, ooohhhhhhh, oohh, aahhhh!!

MAMA, PAPA… O EL QUE SIGUIS…

REBOTA, REBOTA, Y EN TU CULO EXPLOTA

Rocky: Uugghhh!!

TREU-ME LA MÀ DEL CUL, FRANK

TARZÁN, VIGILA LA PISCINA!

CAMBRER, HI HA DOS GAYS A LA MEVA SOPA

Brad: Good God!

Janet: You’ve killed them!

Magenta: But I thought you liked them. They liked you.

Riff Raff: TORNA’T PARANOIC, RIFF! 

They didn’t like me! 

MÉS PARANOIC, RIFF! 

They never liked me!

Dr. Scott: You did right! 

LLEPACULS!

Riff Raff: A decision had to be made.

ET SEMBLA BÉ QUE ET DONGUI PEL DARRERE?

Dr. Scott: You’re okay by me. 

Riff Raff: Dr. Scott, I’m sorry about your… nephew.

Dr. Scott: Eddie? 

NO, MICKEY MOUSE

Yes, well perhaps it was for the best.

Riff Raff: You should leave now Dr. Scott, while it is still possible. We are about to beam the entire house back to the planet of Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania. Go! 

QUAN? 

Now! 

I PERQUÈ HO SUSURRES?

Magenta: Ha! Ha!

Riff Raff: Our noble mission is almost completed, my most beautiful sister 

DONCS COM DEU SER LA LLETJA

and soon we shall return to the moon-drenched shores of our beloved planet.

Magenta: Sweet Transsexual, land of night! To sing and dance once more to your dark refrains.To take that… …step to the right!

Riff Raff: Hah! But it’s the pelvic thrust!

Transylvanians: That really drives you insane!

Magenta: On our world, we’ll do the Time Warp again! 

SEXE AMB EL COLZE!

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩ VUELA QUE VUELA Y VERÁS

—————————

♬♪♩ ♬♪♩- “Super Heroes”

Brad: I’ve done a lot. 

God knows I’ve tried, 

to find the truth. 

I’ve even lied. 

But all I know is, 

down inside I’m bleeding. 

DEVIA SER VERGE

JANET FES DE GAT

Janet:  And super heroes 

come to feast. 

To taste the flesh not yet deceased. 

And all I know is 

still the beast is feeding. 

NO TROBO LA MEVA GUARRA

NO TROBO EL MEU GILIPOLLES

NO HE TROBAT ELS FRENS DE LA BICICLETA

PAREU EL MÓN QUE EM MAREJO!

S’HA CARREGAT AFRICA

———————— Fi ♬♪♩ 

Criminologist: And crawling… 

ON? 

…on the planet’s face… 

QUÈ HAS ESMORZAT? 

…some insects… 

COM ES DEIEN? 

…called the human race. 

QUÈ ELS HA PASSAT ALS DEL PP?

…lost in time

ON SÓN ELS TEUS CENTÍMETRES DE COLL?

…and lost in space… and meaning… 

QUÈ LI FALTA A AQUESTA PELI?

Meaning

EL PLANETA, EL PLANETA!

JA S’HA TORNAT A DEIXAR EL PLANETA ENGEGAT

( final )

AVÍS: el llenguatge és clarament explícit.

Jordi Salvadó Rius, 25 de juny de 2016

Publicat per jordisalvadorius

Vivint unes quantes vides en una: PASSIÓ per l’escola, la música, l’esport, la Cultura, per Reus. www.jordisalvado.com

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